Die

vitasex testimonials??

2003-05-08T21:11:52Z

Well I've officially decided that if Kao and I can convince two naive, simpletons such as Korin and Eisa to add a little spice to their lives with bondage, I'm convinced that we can fanagle anyone into it.

It was quite humerous actually, we had gotten into a fight earlier. I think it was going to come to blows between Korin and I, and I know my koi looked like he was going to scratch Eisa's eyes out. But things settled down and Korin approached me later that evening, wanting to know a few 'things' about mine and Kao's sex life.

By all means, we're open books when it comes to that.

But he was being serious so I responded in turn. I knew he wasn't ready to take things to the level that koi and I enjoy *winks at krk* but he was interested in some of what I like to call 'wussified bondage', so we went over the rules of respect, safe words, etc. (Koi? Do we even have a safe word?? LOL) And I suggested he start with something very simple - no pain, just some silk scarves for hand restrains and a blind fold. Eisa strikes me as the type of guy you'd have to ease into this slowly, like walking into scalding water. H. wandered in and wanted to know what we were discussing and Korin turned beet red and started stammering. I couldn't help but laugh, as if poor H hasn't heard/seen all of this before. (Sorry H and Aggy, sometimes we get carried away!) However, Korin paled and I jumped in telling H. it was none of her business. She gave us an odd look and went about her business.

Later on I found out that my koi has been having a similar discussion with our little Eisa. God am I proud of him. Long story short, Eisa apparently was up for some light fun as well. (White though?? WHITE??? *shudders*) So Kao and I grabbed our respective youngins and gave them some final pointers before leaving the house to the kids.

Damn I was glad we did too. Koi looked fucking hot as all hell, and he had me hard from the get go. Teasing me with that intricately belted skirt...harhar...did you really think that would present a challenge koi? We decided to reward ourselves for our good work with one of our favorite hobbies - a night out in a seedy club with various interesting activities all of which culminating into what could only be described as extremely lewd sexual public deviance. Not that any of those bystanders minded I'm sure. God, Kao is so georgous when he's on his knees in front...hell he's fucking sexy any day any time. We're so perfect for each other.

And soon....he's gonna be mine forever. I fucking love saying that.

I FUCKING WORSHIP YOU KAORU!!!

Right now my life is wonderful, I wouldn't change a damn thing. I have my koi, that's all I'll ever, ever need.

I LOVE YOU KOI!!

koi! look!

2003-05-05T19:31:13Z

Kao, aggy!

H. and I found my tux today!

It's HERE

I'm gonna look so suave *smirks*

i love you...

2003-04-30T20:22:47Z

I love him.

We got back to H.'s house yesterday after breakfast and she and Aggy were discussing Kao and my upcoming wedding. We've been warned and threated to behave or else my koi is going to have to wear a chastity belt. *glares*

I'd like to see them try to get past me.

Then we made love again, and I swear it is the most singularly beautiful thing in the world to share that with someone who you adore so ardently. And afterwards, I carried him up to my room, laying him down on my sheets as I curled my body around his, wrapping my arms around his waist and holding him close to me, feeling the gentle heat of his body.

Is it strange to want to possess someone so fully, to want to merge your hearts, minds, soul into one form?

Forever isn't long enough.

I want to defy that law of time and space.

Kaoru...you are my everything.

You make me so unbelievably happy.

I love you more then life itself.

You are my most precious angel.

God I love you.

suprises

2003-04-20T03:28:50Z

Suitcase....check

Flowers....check

KnM and H. thanks so much for helping me set this up. I don't think he suspects a thing. I hope he is suprised! *excited*

Be over there in about an hour KnM!

I can't wait to see the look on his face *giddy*

For my angel...

2003-04-11T19:02:05Z

H. took over finishing up breakfast so I could write this.

I did it...last night.

We have 10 glorious days together, and in a fit of unbridled spontinaity, a testament to every thing he is to me, of my love for him I did it, because he is my life and I want him in it always.

We were in the bar, and after we were spent and exhausted and flushed I took his hand gently and slipped the platinum onto his finger.

He stared at it, light catching off the metalic surface as I held my breath, nerves and tension tying knots in my stomach as I watched slow tears trickle down his cheeks before he nodded and whispered low and clear.

yes...I love you...so much...

Those simple words have made me the happiest man on earth.

Heh...I'm crying again now. Sometimes I can get sentimental.

Breakfast is ready. I'm taking it into him now. I'm going to feed it to him in bed. Later today we're going to the nature reserve, going horse back riding and swimming in the hot springs. I've packed a picnic lunch. And I want to hold him close while we watch the sunset, and kiss his lips as it dips below the horizon.

For my angel, my koi...I promise I will do everything in my power to make sure you are happy always.

I love you.

dieluvskaorukun @ 2003-04-07T11:20:00

2003-04-07T15:37:19Z

It's amazing what copious amounts of boozing and jet lag will do to a man's hormones. It'll put them completely outta whack. Oh sure, the next morning I was fine. We even managed to get some shopping in after a few rounds of mind blowing sex. He was adorable as usual, he had his head on my shoulder as he heald up a few silk shirts for my inspection. I think in the end I came away with a few new tops and a pair of trousers and I bought him about a half a dozen skirts. Heh...I owe him at least that many and more. On the plane ride back however, Aggy made me sit in the back next to Spy. Man is he a nervous lil guy O_o. Well, I think that's when all the stress on my body caught up to me as normally I'd be dragging my koi into the nearest bathroom and screwing him senseless, and I could tell by the anxious looks he was shooting me that's exactly what he had in mind, but I was completely out of it. I ended up falling into a deep sleep, though I swore I could hear his whining all the way at the back of the plane *smirk*. I could tell he was angry with me when we finally landed, all the better for me to make it up to him as I dragged him away from the luggage carousel and into the nearest bathroom, and god was he ready for it, and fuck...it was good. Love you baby *kiss*.

Got in last night, and H. was already asleep which was odd...at 8 p.m....and no bar? Hmmm...something was awry. Woke her up, and checked her head for a fever, nope. She looked at me and started giggling hysterically. Oh man...I looked at the multitudes of medicine bottles on her bedstand. Whatever they've prescribed her have made her absolutely loopy, and she's still got her headache. Poor thing. I snuggled behind her and held her as she slept. She started muttering in her sleep until she asked me. "Diekun, do you love him?"

"Yes, I do. Very much so. More then anything."

"Good." She sighed, and somehow that seemed to give her some small sense of peace and she fell asleep again.

dieluvskaorukun @ 2003-04-03T18:47:00

2003-04-03T10:37:56Z

rrmrrf...aggy i want my own journal .___.

happy just to be here : )

2003-04-03T10:34:55Z

i suppose a lot of people think i'm an airhead : )being that i don't say much and i often prefer to be in diekun's company than anywhere else. somebody really nice and special asked me a few things that had me thinking. it took me a few days to decipher it and now i'm ready with the answers.

1) do you ever get to do what you want to do...
-thinking back yes, i've done everything i wanted even to the paoint wherei cheated on diekun, and still he's with me, he never left me, and he never chetaed nor wanted to retaliate. i think he spoils me : )

2) what do you want...
-more than anything and anyone, i want Diekun, to be with him. to be his friend, his lover, to help him with his writing, i want him to be the same for me - though i think i should stop wanting that because he already is : )

3) are you happy...
- yes. there's nothing more exhilirating than feeling that you are a person's everything, to be treated like glass and to be loved just as a human should be loved. Diekun loves me with everything he is. He is whole and his beind and heart is whole, even if i am but a shard of what i used to be. He loves me for who i am. he gave me his heart, his love, his soul...how can i be not happy.

I am his one and only.

I am happy.

~Kld

Longing...

2003-03-16T14:02:59Z

So we're here now, in Canada. The hotel is pretty nice, but the wake up fire alarm at 6 a.m. was quite unwelcome, especially since my head was already throbbing since H. and I went to grab a bite and some beers when we finally landed.

It's been less then 24 hours since I kissed him deeply, held him against me, and I feel dead without him already. I've decided that this is going to be the longest 6 days of my entire fucking life, and all I've been doing is pining for him. But I promised him and KnM that I would take care of H. so I'm keeping that vow.

It makes me crazy that I can't be with him. I miss him so fucking much.

I've fallen so fucking hard.

I love him desperately. I never thought I'd say the "L" word, but with him it flows freely and honestly from my lips. He has turned my world upside down and I never want to go back. I want to be with him always, I want him in my heart and in my arms forever.

Even just thinking about him makes my heart ache madly, I am so lonely without him. H. is making funny faces at me, trying to cheer me up, but all I can do is give her a half smile. But thinking about him makes me smile, thinking about his love, his ardent words that he loves a sorry mother fucker like myself. I am so unworthy of him it makes me want to cry, because I want to be everything for him. I'm head over heels, so I guess I better start learning to walk on my hands, ne?

H. promised to take me shopping so I can get him something special. I'm excited, I have something in mind that I think he'll like. And no, it's not a snow globe. I guess will have to go tomorrow though, cause everything here is closed on Sundays, well except the bars/restaurants which I suspect H. and I will be visiting this evening.

I'll be glad for the slight distraction, though I know it will do little good. I know where my thoughts are going to be.

I love him.

It feels so damn good to say that.

the other night...

2003-03-14T16:35:59Z

The other night was a blast. H. wanted to take me to the bar, get me good and liquored so we could finish up the latest chapter of her fic. She was talking to KnM before we left, and told her what we were up to, and that’s when he jumped in and offered to come along and help. I had a few sensual ideas of what he could help me with, and they didn’t involve fiction. H. looked at me sternly, and warned me that he could only come along if we helped her. I laughed, she knew me to well, as the first thought in my mind was throwing him over the hood of her car in the parking lot again and screwing his brains out. But I could see she was serious so I nodded - writing first, mindblowingly fantastic sex later.

Kao met us there as H. bought a round and we settled down, she on the bar stool, he and I each leaning languidly against one of her shoulders offering advice, making suggestions, and just generally behaving ourselves, though I have to admit, I did grab that tight little ass a few times *smirk*.

Actually, he was so adorable, his lips pursed in a straight line, brow furrowed, hair falling into his face as he concentrated before he came up with a new twist for the plot. And I’ll be damned if it wasn’t a really good one at that, and as H. pointed out, one that would lead to lots more scenes involving us in some sordid and compromising positions. I smiled to myself, stealing glances at him from the corners of my eyes. I moved my lips, mouthing to him a few erotic details of what was going to come later. He was going to get rewarded big time for this one later.

We worked for a few hours, until she finished up, sighing as she typed the last sentence. I feel bad; it always takes so much out of her to write this one. I wish she’d shift a bit more of the burden to me, but we’re both stubborn sons of bitches so I understand why she won’t. She yawned before standing, announcing that it was time to go, and hugging both me and him tightly as she thanked us for our help.

The car ride was brutal. I sat in the front and watched him through the rear view mirror as he leaned back into the seat, spreading his legs and rubbing a teasing hand over the bulge in his jeans, eyes locked on mine, loving the fact that I was watching him so intently, my mouth watering and my cock hardening. I think I might have moaned as he raised his fingers to his mouth, lathing attention on each one, dotting kisses on the callused tips. When he was done, he smirked, running his hands down the flimsy fabric of his faded t-shirt before his deft fingers unbuckled his belt. He squirmed a bit at the friction from his hand as he slowly lowered zipper, gaze heated and intense, making sure I was watching as his cock sprung to attention and was enveloped by his palm.

Damn, how could I not watch? I was dying, my breath coming in pants as I saw him run his hand up and down his length, heard the small mewls of desire escaping his lips.

If he was going for the worlds record of guy who gets fucked the hardest, he was on his way to winning.

Finally we pulled into driveway, and I saw him shoot me a coy smile as he rearranged his jeans, fastening them masking his face with a look of complete innocence so as not to alarm the sweetly oblivious H.

We got into the house, and she jumped on the computer, eager to send the fic to KnM. I nodded a brief good night, and he offered a little wave as I took his hand in mine and led him up the stairs to my room. I locked the door, and turned to face him but before I knew it he was up against me, pushing me back into the wall and grinding his hips against mine as his tongue ran up my neck.

Fuck he was hard.

And then my actions, and sensations took over as I grabbed him by the wrists, throwing him onto the bed as I crawled on top of him, our bodies radiating searing heat as I bit down harshly on the creamy skin of his neck, marking him as my territory, my hips pushing into his in a rangy circle. I love it when he screams my name.

Seconds may have passed by and I had him naked and panting as I stood to remove my own clothes, giving him a sensual little strip tease before taking my length in my hand and teasing the weeping tip. His eyes lidded slightly in lust before he crawled to me, on his hands and knees before he knelt, hot breath striking my cock as he looked up and me, seeking reassurance, seeking permission.

I chuckled darkly and told him to suck me.

And god how he did, that hot, wet, moist mouth worshiping me, cleaning my slit hungrily, lapping at my sacks like a cat, teeth scraping erotically up and down my length. Fuck he was good. That sublime buzzing sensation began to course through me, and I laced my fingers through his hair, my hips now moving slightly, seeking deeper contact. He acquiesced, letting me fuck his mouth rough as I held his head in place.

I don’t know what came over me, but the sudden and intense desire to be inside of him took over as I removed myself from that gorgeous mouth before again tossing him onto the bed. He arched his back and spread his legs, purring lightly and daring me to come and get it.

Fucking little slut, I loved every damn minute of it.

I gave him no time to prepare before I thrust in rough and dry, tearing a scream from his lips that gradually subsided into a heady moan as he panted, fingers teasing my nipples with little tugs as he begged me to move inside him.

And I did, I pushed in as deep as I could before pulling out to the hilt, again and again, loving the way our sweat slicked bodies rubbed against each other, delighting in the sinful sounds of slapping skin. He moaned and writhed beneath me, fingers now clawing at my biceps, raking painful lines with each thrust into that tight heat.

He is so fucking beautiful, so damn perfect. It’s no wonder I’m so absolutely in love with him.

We took each other higher and higher until I began stroking him in time with my thrusts, as he screamed out my name and begged me to fuck him harder, tear him apart, break him in two. Truly that was my intent. So I continued, pushing the bonds of reality as I pistioned us closer to the edge of oblivion. Finally he tensed for a long minute, gasping and locking his eyes with mine as he came hard over our stomachs, lost in the utter ecstasy of the moment. That unbelievable tightness became even more deliciously constricting and I thrust in hard a final time before losing myself inside of him.

We were panting, smiling like dorks as we tried to catch our breaths. I pulled out of him and kissed his nose playfully before he rose up and tackled me, pinning me into the sheets and kissing my lips sweetly before nuzzling against my neck. I wrapped my arms around him and soothed him into slumber with soft strokes on his back before I eventually fell asleep as well, after a long time of simply watching him.

I am so in love with him.

missing you koi...

2003-03-07T23:41:11Z

All the stars may shine bright
All the clouds may be white
But when you smile
Ohh how I feel so good
That I can hardly wait
To hold you
Enfold you
Never enough
Render your heart to me

All mine.......
You have to be...

From that cloud, number nine
Danger starts the sharp incline
And such sad regrets
Ohh as those starry skies
As they swiftly fall
Make no mistake
You shan't escape
Tethered and tied
There's nowhere to hide from me

All mine....
You have to be...

Don't resist
We shall exist
Until the day I die
Until the day I die

All mine.......
You have to be...

God koi...I miss you...*sighs*

unnggghhh

2003-03-07T21:08:58Z

I'm so fucking hungover today even my fingernails hurt. H. and I went out boozing last night, her treat so I was taking full advantage of that, ordering long-pours of Glen Levit on the rocks and downing them before she could take a sip of her beer. We were being so silly all yesterday. She was talking to KnM, and I grabbed her smokes to head out for a ciggy. A few minutes later she appeared next to me, shivering slightly at the biting wind that enveloped us as I leisurly held out the box and offered her one. Her slender fingers quickly plucked a stick, and I leaned forward, digging my lighter out of my jacket pocket for her before leaning back against the wall of the building. We were laughing about something, knowing us it was probably some stupid, inside joke that if anyone else on the planet ever heard, they'd deem us to be total nut cases. I laughed, breath and smoke both leaving my lips in a white haze. And then before I know it, shocking coldness pierces my senses as a large clump of snow from the roof fell right on my head, effectively soaking my hair and destroying the remnents of my cig. Fuck! She paused and looked at me, eyes wide in shock before she doubled over in hysterics. I on the other hand was far less amused, I snarled at her before stomping back into the building. She apologized later...heehee...I made her, it's amazing how fricking ticklish she is. I even managed to get her to promise me the car for the weekend and the credit card. *smirks*

I miss him. I haven't seen him in two fucking days and not only are my hormones in massive overdrive - I'm so damn hard, but I feel...empty. I've never felt this before, like I'm so inherently tied to something that when it's gone, even momentarily the singuarity of my being fragments, and I'm left unwhole until it returns. I guess most of the alcohol consumption last night was a falted and vague attempt to fill in the gaps, to seal the cracks with sinful, amber liquid. I was a fucking idiot to think that would work, because in the end, he's still not here, and I feel like someone's taking a jackhammer to my skull. Not a pretty way to spend the day. I love him, yes, I can admit that, hell I could shout it over the loud speaker at the super bowl, let anyone try and fuck with me. But when he's not here, I feel, almost meek, certain that there is something missing and trying to maintain my facade as having it all together. He thinks I'm so strong...heh...I wonder if he'd ever guess that most of my supposed strength comes from the fact I know he loves me. I'm fucking desperate for him, for his kisses, for his love, for the cute way he tilts his head when I do something goofy inadvertantly, for everything that he is. It's been two days, and I'm climbing the walls. I need to see him.

for you, koi

2003-02-25T23:24:10Z

When darkness folds
Across this old sky
Yes, I’ll open up
For you that night

But still shadows they come
Am I safe in your arms?
Can I be your source
Of love tonight?

I’ll wait for the day
When you creep through the window and hold me
Smash into my life now and hold me
Don’t set me free
I’ve waited too long, yes I’m dying
Smash into me someone and hold me
Speed into this shell now and hold me
Hold me
Hold me

Can you tell me
Will I ever dream again?
In your arms
I now know that I’m home again
I’m home again
I’m home again
I’m home again

I’m drunk for your love
Speed into my life
Speak to me now
Just speak to me someone
For I know your taste
And I can supply

Thank you for letting me love you.

my little secret...

2003-02-24T22:06:30Z

He doesn't know this. He'd probably laugh if I told him. But after our rounds of racous sex are over for the evening, and we lay down together, me on my back, him on his stomach, his face resting on my chest, my arms around his waist, his leg trown over mine, I close my eyes and slow my breathing, feigning sleep until I feel him relax further into my embrace, his own breathing becoming slow and even. When I'm sure he's asleep, I open my eyes, and look at him.

'God, he's so beautiful.'

You would never expect this wanton, deviant, lustful, exotic man in my arms to look like an innocent angel when he sleeps, but he does. I brush several stray, dissheveled locks of hair from those stunning high cheek bones, my eyes noting the way his lips are pursed together languidly, corners of that pouty mouth coming up in a light, contented smile. Dark, longing eyes obscured by slightly fluttering lashes as he drifts in his dreams. His pale, soft skin caressing mine simply each time he stirs slightly before settling back down.

What do you dream about, lover? Because I dream about you every second I'm not with you.

'He is so perfect.'

I lie awake for hours like this. Not fucking or talking or kissing...just being. Just being together with him in my arms is like nothing else I've ever experienced. I try and pace my breath so it is in sync with his, still my heartbeat to match his own. Willing in the only way I know how to let our bodies, our souls to become one. He is my everything.

I love you, koi.

Forever.

to my little tease smirks

2003-02-23T20:43:43Z

"This Is Hardcore" by Pulp

You are hardcore, you make me hard.
You name the drama and I'll play the part.
It seems I saw you in some teenage wet dream.
I like your get up if you know what I mean.
I want it bad. I want it now.
Oh can't you see I'm ready now.
I've seen all the pictures,
I've studied them forever.
I wanna make a movie so let's star in it
together.
Don't make a move 'til I say, "Action."
Oh, here comes the Hardcore life.
Put your money where your mouth is tonight.
Leave your make-up on & I'll leave on the light.
Come over here babe & talk in the mic. Oh yeah I hear you now.
It's gonna be one hell of a night.
You can't be a spectator. Oh no.
You got to take these dreams & make them whole.
Oh this is Hardcore -
there is no way back for you.
Oh this is Hardcore -
this is me on top of you &
I can't believe that it took me this long. That it took me this long.

This is the eye of the storm.
It's what men in stained raincoats pay for but in here it is pure.
Yeah. This is the end of the line.
I've seen the storyline played out so many times before.
Oh that goes in there.
Then that goes in there.
Then that goes in there.
Then that goes in there. & then it's over. Oh, what a hell of a show
but what I want to know:
what exactly do you do for an encore? 'Cos this is Hardcore.

Yeah, can't wait for that encore baby. *licks lips*

dieluvskaorukun @ 2003-02-22T15:43:00

2003-02-22T20:54:09Z

I was hanging out in her office, making paper airplanes and trying to land them in her tea mug, she for the most part was completely oblivious to the fact, fucking dork was actually trying to work, heh…what a loser. I didn’t give a shit really, it was her own fault for dragging me along to that fucking nerd hole that passes as a business. Although, I did notice her smile, begin rapidly typing, and I must admit, my curiosity got the better of me, as it’s want to do at times. I leaned over her shoulder.

I saw that name…his name…

My heart beat picking up pace and my pants becoming instantly too restrictive. I smiled wickedly, grabbing her hands and pinning them behind her back, securing them in one of my own as she struggled in protest. I laughed, leaning over her shoulder as she rolled her eyes, and began typing with my free hand. She said all I would have needed to do was ask her to move, but really, it’s so much more fun to fuck with her every once in awhile. She needs to loosen up. But, enough about her, I asked him what he was doing, he replied nothing. I told him I’d be there shortly, smirking and licking my lips before I grabbed her keys out of her purse, threw her a cocky smile and sauntered out the door. She’d find a ride home; I had more…urgently pressing matters… to attend to.

He was waiting outside when I arrived, giving me a seductive glance that sent my blood boiling. It was always such a charge with him. I got out of the car, hips swaying as I kept hold of his eyes with my own, walking up to him slowly. And there I was, face to face with him, he tried to look away, a faint blush tinting his cheeks, but I was in no mood for coyness. Not when I had a hard on the size of the fricking Eiffel tower in my pants when it should have been buried in his tight little ass. Damn I wanted to throw him down and take him right there on the front lawn. Instead, I settled for grabbing his collar tightly in my fist, using my height to my advantage as I pulled him upwards and forwards suddenly. The look in his eyes was absolutely bewitching, an erotic mixture of shock and submission as our lips met, and I slipped my tongue inside those sweet depths. He moaned headily and melted into the kiss, letting me plunder, letting me take all that I wanted.

Damn, he is so perfect…

Finally I broke away, watching his beautiful flushed features struggled to regain the breath I had stolen. He cocked an eyebrow, motioning with his head towards the front door before he turned, sexy lithe hips swinging that ass so seductively as he turned from me and began to head for the entrance. He was doing it on purpose, that fucking little tease. I followed leisurely behind him, fully enjoying the view, plotting my revenge in some form of punishment or another. He needed to learn to behave. Heh…yeah, he needed to be taught a good lesson.

Reaching the stairs, I could tell there was something wrong, so I hung back a bit, letting him take his time to comfort, to consol. She needed him now, not me, and to be honest, I really felt like an ass. I stuffed my hands in my pocket and turned my back, taking several steps back onto the lawn; they needed their time. That was the first time in my life I’ve ever felt guilty for being a walking hormone. And really, it made me think about a few things too. Some time had passed when I felt his palm gently circling around my shoulder. Turning to face him, I could tell he was in no mood to continue our previous antics. My heart lurched at the pain in his eyes, though I could tell he was trying to hide it. I wanted to tell him not to hide from me, not ever. I love him for who he is, no false pretenses of faux smiles would come between us. But my timing is always shit, as soon as I’d managed to find my voice, he’d already turned and was motioning me inside. Fuck.

He led me up to his room, where he began to undress, almost mechanically, guarded emotionless eyes averted to the floor. I grabbed hold of his slender wrist, eyes entreating him to stop. This was not the time, and I knew it, and I didn’t care. I just wanted to be with him, and pardon the pun but screw the sex. I laid him down on the bed, then crawled behind him, my arms encircling his waist, and my knees coming up to lock perfectly behind his. I nuzzled the creamy skin of his neck, dotting small, soothing kisses, whispering my words of my undying affection, trying to help, to sooth in my own way. He snuggled back into me, relaxing into my embrace, and I could almost hear him smile as he sighed sweetly, his lashes fluttering shut as I kissed his cheek. We fell asleep in each other’s arms.

It was innocent and sublime.

It was everything I wanted.

It was him.

dieluvskaorukun @ 2003-02-21T10:07:00

2003-02-21T15:46:44Z

I was out last night with her, all I wanted to do was be with him, but she gave me the most pathetic look and I complied.

I let a couple of shots of scotch burn down my throat, warming my stomach with that sinful, buzzing sensation only alcohol can provide...no...he gives me that feeling too, but with him it's better, it makes me alive. And just as I was sitting there, missing him, thinking only of him...

She handed me the phone.

Flashes of disjointed thought ran through my brain, I had to get away from her, devote myself only to him. I snatched the mobile and went into the men's room, locking myself in one of the dingy, grafiti laden stalls. All I could think about was bending him over, his arms braced on the smooth porceline lid of the toilet, taking my time, slowly lowering his jeans, running my hands possessively over that taut ass before fucking him senseless. Screw modesty, I need him more than I need air. I can't help it, he makes me think these thoughts...

God, our conversation was so hot, I pushed my back into the wall, my hand rapidly unbuckling and unzipping my pants, reaching inside, fisting my dripping length, letting his erotic words take me higher and higher. I heard him panting, shallow and uneven, soft mewls meant for my ears only, he was begging. I wanted him to. He cried out as he came, I could feel every syllable drenched in erotic pleasure, it drove me wild, it sent me over the edge I was so precariously balanced upon. I followed him into the abyss. Then he was licking his fingers, and I had the most glorious image of him, sweathing, half naked, sticky liquor dripping from his slender digits as that perfect tongue darted out, lavishing attention on each one. I was trembling. I was recovering, getting harder with every second as he told me how bad he wanted my cock in his mouth, how desperately he wanted to be on his knees in front of me. God, I want him there, I want to grab fistfuls of that silky auburn hair and force him to take all of me with that sexy, pouty little mouth. For the second time that night, I came undone.

Then she wanted to leave, hollering into my private viewing booth, not caring that she was blocking the door to the lavatory or not. Fuck. I stomped back over to the bar, confronting her, my eyes flashing dangerously. Then I told her, if she ever comes between him and me again, I'll kill her. That's how deep the rivers of my emotions run for him, tears were dancing close to my eyes, threatening to spill and ruin the after effect of my snarling stare. I just need him. I don't think she understands.

We left, another faceless building of brick, holding only the promise of further intoxication. I didn't want to be there. I let her know but she didn't care. He was in my brain, infecting every though with that lithe, luscious form that makes my knees weak and my cock hard. He was crying, and I was helpless to do anything but listen to him, praying with all I had in me that I could hold him...so close...forever. She didn't care, I was enraged, no one disregards my lover's feelings - ever. For the second time that night, I confronted her, grabbing the beer out of her hands and smashing it on the floor before kicking a few bar stools over. They asked us to leave. I didn't give a fuck. Nothing matters but him...

And then he came to me.

I was in heaven, with my own fallen angel.

I love you.

dieluvskaorukun @ 2003-02-21T09:44:00

2003-02-21T14:55:16Z

*smirking*

bored with your sex life

oh yeah

bored with your sex life

bored with your sex life

oh yeah

leathersex

embrace this night of power

kneel beside me take my hand

stip before the altar

let's test the blood of our command

groove on

assume the motion

breath the holy pain is resurrects

bathe me in leather

bathe me in leather

drown me in your sex

we tread where angels fear to go

where childish crimes are yours and mine

lick the tears from my face

be my slave

groove on

assume the motion

breathe the holy pain it resurrects

bathe me in leather

bathe me in leather

drown me in your sex

where is the action

action is action

action makes things happen

yeah

leathersex

'leathersex' by My Life with the Thrill Kill Cult

Thinking about you krk, could you tell?

dieluvskaorukun @ 2003-02-20T12:41:00

2003-02-20T17:53:17Z

When reality falters, I have always fought for my hold, my senses, my thoughts, my mind desperately trying to keep hold of myself...

now...

I want to fall, I want to let go, lose myself complelty in him, for him, through him...

I am falling, so desperate...he is my reality now

Die